Table of contents 1 nonviolent communication / compassionate anarchism is . . . ?
1.1 Nonviolent communication skills
1.1.1 CONNECTION
1.1.2 HONESTY
1.1.3 PLAY
1.1.4 PEACE
1.1.5 PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
1.1.6 MEANING
1.1.7 AUTONOMY
1.2 FEELINGS WHEN NEEDS ARE SATISFIED
1.2.1 AFFECTIONATE
1.2.2 CONFIDENT
1.2.3 ENGAGED
1.2.4 INSPIRED
1.2.5 EXCITED
1.2.6 EXHILARATED
1.2.7 GRATEFUL
1.2.8 HOPEFUL
1.2.9 JOYFUL
1.2.10 PEACEFUL
1.2.11 REFRESHED
1.3 FEELINGS WHEN NEEDS ARE NOT SATISFIED
1.3.1 AFRAID
1.3.2 ANNOYED
1.3.3 ANGRY
1.3.4 AVERSION
1.3.5 CONFUSED
1.3.6 DISCONNECTED
1.3.7 DISQUIET
1.3.8 EMBARRASSED
1.3.9 FATIGUE
1.3.10 PAIN
1.3.11 SAD
1.3.12 TENSE
1.3.13 VULNERABLE
1.3.14 YEARNING
1.3.15 Domination systems require:
nonviolent communication / compassionate anarchism is . . . ?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is sometimes referred to as compassionate communication. It�s purpose is to strengthen our ability to inspire compassion from others and to respond compassionately to others and to ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and hear others by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting.
Nonviolent communication skills
As the name implies, this approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. These techniques allow you to make conscious choices about how you will respond whether you get what you want, or not. It is definitely NOT about guilt and tricking people into giving you what you want.
The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we and others are observing, how and why we are each feeling as we do, what our underlying needs are, and what each of us would like to have happen. These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others.
Nonviolent Communication assists you in dealing with major blocks to communication such as demands, diagnoses and blaming. You learn to express your feelings without attacking. This will help minimize the likelihood of facing defensive reactions in others. The skills help you make clear requests. They help you receive critical and hostile messages without taking them personally, giving in, or losing self-esteem. These skills are useful with your family, friends, students, subordinates, supervisors, co-workers and clients. These skills are even useful with your own internal dialogues.
LIST OF UNIVERSAL NEEDS
CONNECTION
acceptanceaffectionappreciationbelongingcooperationcommunicationclosenesscommunitycompanionshipcompassionconsiderationconsistencyempathyinclusionintimacylovemutualitynurturingrespect/self-respectsafetysecuritystabilitysupportto know and be knownto see and be seento understand and be understoodtrustwarmth
HONESTY
authenticityintegritypresence
PLAY
joyhumor
PEACE
beautycommunioneaseequalityharmonyinspirationorder
PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
airfoodmovement/exerciserest/sleepsexual expressionsafetysheltertouchwater
MEANING
awarenesscelebration of lifechallengeclaritycompetenceconsciousnesscontributioncreativitydiscoveryefficacyeffectivenessgrowthhopelearningmourningparticipationpurposeself-expressionstimulationto matterunderstanding
AUTONOMY
choicefreedomindependencespacespontaneity
FEELINGS WHEN NEEDS ARE SATISFIED
AFFECTIONATE
compassionatefriendlylovingopen heartedsympathetictenderwarm
CONFIDENT
empoweredopenproudsafesecure
ENGAGED
absorbedalertcuriousengrossedenchantedentrancedfascinatedinterestedintriguedinvolvedspellboundstimulated
INSPIRED
amazedawedwonder
EXCITED
amazedanimatedardentarousedastonisheddazzledeagerenergeticenthusiasticgiddyinvigoratedlivelypassionatesurprisedvibrant
EXHILARATED
blissfulecstaticelatedenthralledexuberantradiantrapturousthrilled
GRATEFUL
appreciativemovedthankfultouched
HOPEFUL
expectantencouragedoptimistic
JOYFUL
amuseddelightedgladhappyjubilantpleasedtickled
PEACEFUL
calmclear headedcomfortablecenteredcontentequanimousfulfilledmellowquietrelaxedrelievedsatisfiedserenestilltranquiltrusting
REFRESHED
enlivenedrejuvenatedrenewedrestedrestoredrevived
FEELINGS WHEN NEEDS ARE NOT SATISFIED
AFRAID
apprehensivedreadforebodingfrightenedmistrustfulpanickedpetrifiedscaredsuspiciousterrifiedwaryworried
ANNOYED
aggravateddismayeddisgruntleddispleasedexasperatedfrustratedimpatientirritatedirked
ANGRY
enragedfuriousincensedindignantiratelividoutragedresentful
AVERSION
animosityappalledcontemptdisgusteddislikehatehorrifiedhostilerepulsed
CONFUSED
ambivalentbaffledbewildereddazedhesitantlostmystifiedperplexedpuzzledtorn
DISCONNECTED
alienatedaloofapatheticboredcolddetacheddistantdistractedindifferentnumbremoveduninterestedwithdrawn
DISQUIET
agitatedalarmeddiscombobulateddisconcerteddisturbedperturbedrattledrestlessshockedstartledsurprisedtroubledturbulentturmoiluncomfortableuneasyunnervedunsettledupset
EMBARRASSED
ashamedchagrinedflusteredguiltymortifiedself-conscious
FATIGUE
beatburnt outdepletedexhaustedlethargiclistlesssleepytiredwearyworn out
PAIN
agonyanguishedbereaveddevastatedgriefheartbrokenhurtlonelymiserableregretfulremorseful
SAD
depresseddejecteddespairdespondentdisappointeddiscourageddisheartenedforlorngloomyheavy heartedhopelessmelancholyunhappywretched
TENSE
anxiouscrankydistresseddistraughtedgyfidgetyfrazzledirritablejitterynervousoverwhelmedrestlessstressed out
VULNERABLE
fragileguardedhelplessinsecureleeryreservedsensitiveshaky
YEARNING
enviousjealouslongingnostalgicpiningwistful
These lists of needs & feelings are neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.
Domination systems require:
1.Suppression of self
2.Moralistic judgments
3.Amtssprache (This expression was used by Nazi officials to describe a bureaucratic language that denies choice, with words like: �should,� �have to,� �ought.�)
4. The crucial concept of deserve
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Important NVC web-sites:
and
TakeDown.NET -> “NVC”